I'm Sick Of Being Me

The feeling of me hating me has increased today by a whopping 1000%. It appears that I have no sympathy for other people or maybe it's just me... I don't know but one of my neighbors passed and my mom told me about it yesterday. And today I guess it was some of her family because some people were outside her apartment and they had a fucking baby.....

.....and it was crying and I opened my door and I yelled "Shut Up!" and I slammed the door screaming because the fucking thing wouldn't shut up. And what made it worse were 2 things.

1. The fact that it was practically in front of my door.

2. The fact that my mom told me they were probably coming over for the funeral and that they were members of her family.

I feel utterly disgusted. I hate myself even more now.....