Monday, April 07, 2008

Yi and Long time no see

Where have I been? All over. My life has taken a drastic change. The whole thing started with my old therapist and it went from there.

I can't tell you the whole story because it's long and I'm tired and I want my sleepies. So I give you something that makes me happy: The Yi syllabary! YAY! ^.^

- b p bb nb hm m f v d t dd nd hn n hl l g k gg mg hx ng h w z c zz nz s ss zh ch rr nr sh r j q jj nj ny x y
it ꀀ

Monday, February 25, 2008

The Devil's Lair


But I did not enjoy my stay. Not one minute of it. Today was insane. The day started out ok and then when my mom called me to take my meds for my fucking, son of a bitch, cunt, jack ass OCD that's when the egg hatched. That's when everything went bye bye.

To make a ridiculously long story short I bring you this:

* I had attempted to drink some Ginger Ale before taking my meds. Some of it went down the wrong way and I choked.
* The glass that I was using dropped from my hand onto the washing machine ( It wasn't broken ).
* I told my mom this and she said "That's ok we have others." So then I asked her "Just like this one?"

And then this convo ensued.

Mom: "Yes."

Me: "Do you know where?"

Mom: "Not at the moment, but I guess I'm such an idiot that I don't know where they are."

**Note: If you read my journal entry from yesterday ( I believe ) then you'll know why the word 'idiot' is in bold.

And then there's yelling and screaming because of what she said.

Me: "I never meant to call you an idiot! It was an accident! IT WAS A FUCKING ACCIDENT!"

And with that I went into my room completely worn out and upset with all of the yelling. I wasn't in my room long before another problem arose: The CFH. So then I got "dressed" and I was going to go downstairs or something to get away from all of this. And my mom said that I can't go out because I'll have no where to go.

And I told her that I didn't care and that I've had enough. So what happened was I would up going out on the balcony instead for a good while.

And when I came back my mom told me that she had called Aileen ( my bbf mom ) to check on me and she did and my mom and her talked for a good while while I had my music on really loud and singing at the top my lungs out of agony. My mom got me cheese and it made me feel better. ^.^

For me cheese is like chocolate. I like both but cheese is my comfort food. Phew! That must be the longest LJ entry I've ever written!

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentine's Day!

My morning was hectic though. The rest was fine so far. I'll tell you about it in a short list:

*Francis quit because of me.
*She was afraid that I would hurt her during my suffering.

That made me feel......*Wishes she could describe it* This morning was hell upon hearing the news. I'm.....I'm done with living around people......

Good Bye!

Monday, February 04, 2008

Happy Groundhog Day!


The groundhog saw his shadow, so that means this year's winter will be longer! DAMN IT!

A Long Day

I went to the clinic today and we were there way too long. I thought that there was going to be MAJOR problems with the CFH but there wasn't thank you God! I'm worn out and tired of spending so much time in the clinic waiting for them to get the medicine from......

ACROSS THE FUCKING STREET! Because of their ignorant stupid asses we were there longer then we needed to be.

I want them to pay for what they did to us.

Later on after I came home I went to bed because I was soooo fucking tired. I woke up to this really bad dream and I couldn't stop obsessing about it ( Fuck you OCD )! I'm ok now but it was awful.

*Hopes that no more dreams of the sort happen again.*

Friday, February 01, 2008

......Let me die!

♫ On the first day of February Satan gave to me, A day full of hell and shit. ♫

Seriously though today was absolute hell! It seems that January didn't want to leave so quickly. It was raining so naturally I was nervous because of what happened in January.

Any way to make a loooooong story short I had another emotional breakdown and my mom got hurt physically because of it ( it was an accident ) and the HA saw and witnessed all of this as she did with the other problem that I had.

I can't take much more of this.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

18 Hours.....

......of sleep. Seriously! I went to sleep yesterday and woke up at 7:00AM today!

I needed because I went through hell on Saturday. Same problem with the people upstairs and it was really bad. Aileen had to come over to take my mom upstairs to talk to them and it all went wrong. They don't live in the apartment we thought they did.

And it's 2 apartments! Not one, but two separate apartments with each containing a pile of shit.

Let's face it. I'm fucking doomed.....

And that about sums it up people!

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Hell Had It's Rampage....

Yep it went on a rampage again all involving these fucking bastards who live above us on the 11th floor making noises that send off the wall and it's been like this for the past few days. Honestly I want them out.

Something has to be done about them. And now. I finally did get sleep and I'm posting this early in the morning of the 21st at 7:09AM.

Friday, January 18, 2008

I Can't Believe It

I went to see my therapist today for the last time because I'm being transfered to another place ( can't remember the name atm ). Getting ready to go was hell because I ran into too many problems with CFH. Also because of what happened last year at camp and the fact that something is going on with the whole thing ( The director is trying to sell it or something and then there's money problems blah blah blah ).........
......I'm not going this year.

I'm going to miss Sara and Jacob ( he gave me my first kiss last year ) immensely. I hope to see both of them again some how someday......I have Sara's email but I don't have any way of contacting Jacob..........How can I be so stupid? Knowing him for 5 years and not asking him for his address or email ( if he has one ).

*Screams* I just hope in some weird way I'll get to see him again.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008


Things are changing and for the good too! ^_^ I'm extremely happy about that. Yesterday I went out and I got 2 Selena CDs:

Selena ¡Vive!

Selena Remembered ( comes with a DVD too )

And I also got more cheese and it was sooooooooooo good. I'm going to get more tomorrow because I'm going out again tomorrow as well. Hahahahahaha! And on Friday I'm going to see my therapist. I know it's been ages since I've wrote in these.

But then again there is my LJ if any of you actually care what happens in my twisted life......

Tuesday, January 15, 2008


Ok, to get things straight before I explain my day is that we got a new HA because Yvette wasn't all that she seemed to be. You'd be shocked if you knew the whole story from day one.

Any way some one else came to take her place and her name is Francis and OMG! She's a God send! We have so much in common! And this is like a dream almost I can't even tell if it's real! Well I went out with her today and I got the following 2 Selena CD's:

- Selena iVive!
- Selena Remember CD and DVD in one!

And the other things were just some stuff to eat. I'm so very happy. There was just one tiny flaw, I ran into another creature from hell. >:(

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Interesting Day

Today was actually kind of interesting because a PT came over today ( totally unexpected ) and did some stuff with me and told me some things and my mom and him talked about my "history" regarding my PT and the reasons why I need it.

I haven't had it in about a year or maybe a little more. Ever since I left school I didn't get it and I've been out of school for over a year now. So......yeah. I also got to have cheese today! *Drools when thinking about it* Like I said I haven't had it in a while.

So it was good to have it. I have some left over of course. Also that dreaded cursed feeling came over me today while the PT was here and the first time it came over me it was really intense and I screamed......

Really I hated the fact that this was happening to me even more because he asked me what was wrong and I "told" him ( actually I told my mom and then explained it to him first ). I just wanna be normal!

Sunday, January 06, 2008


Today I had more I'm going to make a list of ways to die. I'll get back to you when I'm sure that one of them will succeed.

Saturday, January 05, 2008


I went through absolute hell today involving you know what. Ever since I found out what the whole hearing thing was and the fact they can't stop it etc. It's been 10 times worse.....

I even tried to kill myself today.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008


I slept in due to what went on yesterday and I woke up at around 7:00AM and a little later I get the dreaded feeling again. And not only that but it's intense! Also it feels a little different too. But it's the same thing.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Tuesday, January 01, 2008


Well first thing you should know is that early this morning at around 2:00AM in the morning I was awoken to this fucking ass baby crying its unworthy ass off and that just set me off. I swear that if I had access to it it would've out of the apartment......

Why does my first day of 2008 have to start out so badly? Tell me please!