Monday, February 25, 2008

The Devil's Lair


But I did not enjoy my stay. Not one minute of it. Today was insane. The day started out ok and then when my mom called me to take my meds for my fucking, son of a bitch, cunt, jack ass OCD that's when the egg hatched. That's when everything went bye bye.

To make a ridiculously long story short I bring you this:

* I had attempted to drink some Ginger Ale before taking my meds. Some of it went down the wrong way and I choked.
* The glass that I was using dropped from my hand onto the washing machine ( It wasn't broken ).
* I told my mom this and she said "That's ok we have others." So then I asked her "Just like this one?"

And then this convo ensued.

Mom: "Yes."

Me: "Do you know where?"

Mom: "Not at the moment, but I guess I'm such an idiot that I don't know where they are."

**Note: If you read my journal entry from yesterday ( I believe ) then you'll know why the word 'idiot' is in bold.

And then there's yelling and screaming because of what she said.

Me: "I never meant to call you an idiot! It was an accident! IT WAS A FUCKING ACCIDENT!"

And with that I went into my room completely worn out and upset with all of the yelling. I wasn't in my room long before another problem arose: The CFH. So then I got "dressed" and I was going to go downstairs or something to get away from all of this. And my mom said that I can't go out because I'll have no where to go.

And I told her that I didn't care and that I've had enough. So what happened was I would up going out on the balcony instead for a good while.

And when I came back my mom told me that she had called Aileen ( my bbf mom ) to check on me and she did and my mom and her talked for a good while while I had my music on really loud and singing at the top my lungs out of agony. My mom got me cheese and it made me feel better. ^.^

For me cheese is like chocolate. I like both but cheese is my comfort food. Phew! That must be the longest LJ entry I've ever written!

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentine's Day!

My morning was hectic though. The rest was fine so far. I'll tell you about it in a short list:

*Francis quit because of me.
*She was afraid that I would hurt her during my suffering.

That made me feel......*Wishes she could describe it* This morning was hell upon hearing the news. I'm.....I'm done with living around people......

Good Bye!

Monday, February 04, 2008

Happy Groundhog Day!


The groundhog saw his shadow, so that means this year's winter will be longer! DAMN IT!

A Long Day

I went to the clinic today and we were there way too long. I thought that there was going to be MAJOR problems with the CFH but there wasn't thank you God! I'm worn out and tired of spending so much time in the clinic waiting for them to get the medicine from......

ACROSS THE FUCKING STREET! Because of their ignorant stupid asses we were there longer then we needed to be.

I want them to pay for what they did to us.

Later on after I came home I went to bed because I was soooo fucking tired. I woke up to this really bad dream and I couldn't stop obsessing about it ( Fuck you OCD )! I'm ok now but it was awful.

*Hopes that no more dreams of the sort happen again.*

Friday, February 01, 2008

......Let me die!

♫ On the first day of February Satan gave to me, A day full of hell and shit. ♫

Seriously though today was absolute hell! It seems that January didn't want to leave so quickly. It was raining so naturally I was nervous because of what happened in January.

Any way to make a loooooong story short I had another emotional breakdown and my mom got hurt physically because of it ( it was an accident ) and the HA saw and witnessed all of this as she did with the other problem that I had.

I can't take much more of this.